The Silence between Men

"Time is the most important commodity in the world, you can't buy, save or horde it, the only thing you can do is spend it, and how you spend your time will determine the quality of your life".
John Pisano

I know it is said that men do not talk, share their feelings and because of that women never seem to know what is going on with their man. Not always, but most times they are right and that is true. At other times, no words are needed to give for what is shared between two men. A quiet understanding, a simple nod. I have been at times silent and with the ability to relate to feelings. This day had those two ways and more.

Bill and I spent the afternoon climbing through ruins of castles and now sat having driven the costal road, then walking two miles in order to reach----Slains Castle, a ruin of a castle that the story goes was the inspiration for Bram Stoker's Dracula. If you know the movie and can visualize the waves crashing against rocks that jut out from the ocean floor while the castle perched high on a hill overlooks the horizon,cliffs that drop straight down, as the sea finds its way through a narrow gorge.

Here is where we sit in the sun, backs to a stone archway looking out over what Bill says reminds him of the Oregon coast. I begin sharing with him my childhood. Why at that moment, I have no clue but it seemed natural. Speaking of the relationship I had with a hard working father, a man who came to America poor, after a war that saw his country occupied, bombed, and came to America to find a better world for him and his children. Yet, a man that was emotionally distant, and unsentimental. I loved and took care of my father the last 5 years of his illness, but could never see myself together with on this kind of a journey.

He asked about my mother and I told him how she was the complete opposite. She an emotionally strong woman who provided me with unconditional support and love when there were times in my life I did not warrant such love. I told him about those times as well. I explain how my aunt was like a second mother and she was the one who took me to ballgames as a kid as I taught her the game of baseball. She loved baseball and the Yankees so much that when she could no longer see at the end. I would call her and explain the action of the games. I mentioned how I had the privileged to take care of her and be by her side while she was dying. I was honor bound as it was a promise I made to m mother to take care of the sister she loved but I would have done it without reservation anyway as I loved her like a son to a mother.

We sat there Bill and I on this brilliantly sunny and unusually warm day for what seemed like hours. Me talking, us laughing Bill asking a question, when an easy silence suspended itself in the air. As we looked out into the great expanse of the ocean. I hear Bill's soft voice say "What a privilege to be on this trip", he seems to want to say more but it feels to me he is shy, unsure. I look over at him, meet his gaze, and return a slight nod of my head. An in the elegant, gracious silence shared between two men, we smile, click our wine glasses and give toast to the moment.....

The vaulted archway is where Bill and I ate and talked.....